The story opens with Jerry Jergins meeting an alien Ambassador who is “a completely normal and even handsome human being”—too perfect, in fact, with a shave “too close” and skin “so unblemished as to suggest wax-works.” This initial description establishes a narrative voice that oscillates between breezy, ad-man confidence and a more clinical, observational tone. The Ambassador’s flawless appearance hints at mimicry, a theme that recurs as the text later describes tourists speaking “fluent idiomatic Earth English” while saying “very little.” The prose itself mimics the polished surface of its characters, but cracks appear in the form of blunt observations about violence, theft, and economic collapse.

The Ambassador’s Unearthly Polish

The Ambassador’s description is the first clue that the story’s voice is doing double duty. Jerry expects “a scholarly brontosaurus” or “an educated squid,” but instead finds a man whose grooming suggests “a Sixth Century B.C. piece of Greek sculpture.” The narrator’s language here is precise, almost clinical: every strand of hair is “impeccably placed,” the clothes drape “negligent and just-right.” This isn’t mere admiration; it’s a forensic catalog of artificiality. The Ambassador’s perfection becomes a narrative device that signals otherness without resorting to tentacles or green skin. Later, the text notes that tourists “couldn’t be bribed with lollypops,” a small, concrete detail that undercuts their apparent normalcy. The voice remains coolly observant, letting the uncanny details accumulate.

Exhibits of Earthly Depravity

When Jerry sets up display cases to shock alien tourists, the narrative shifts into a grim museum-guide register. One case contains “sawed-off shotguns, blackjacks, a model of a bullet-proof automobile” alongside a photo of the St. Valentine’s Day massacre. Another shows “a photo of a smashed body of a once-wealthy man who jumped from his office window after losing his fortune.” The prose becomes flat and enumerative, mimicking the detachment of a curator. The tourists “gaped at that exhibit with all the relish of Coney Island crowds visiting wax replicas of famous murder scenes.” This simile ties their reaction back to the earlier wax-works imagery, creating a structural echo. The narrative voice here is deliberately affectless, letting the grotesque inventory speak for itself.

Pace and the Paddy-Wagon

The story’s pace accelerates sharply in the street scene. Jerry spots “a traffic-stopping cluster of humanity” and elbows through to find tourists being arrested for shoplifting. The dialogue is snappy: “When on Earth, do as the Earthmen do.” A policeman “implemented his command with a well-placed kick in the seat of a pair of expertly tailored pants.” The earlier polished descriptions of the Ambassador’s tailoring are now undercut by a boot. The narrative voice shifts from observational to almost slapstick, but the humor is dark. The tourists’ theft is framed as “a bit of a lark,” a phrase that echoes the earlier “relish” of the Coney Island simile. This acceleration in pace mirrors Jerry’s own growing agitation, as the controlled experiment of his advertising campaign begins to spiral into chaos.

Jacobs’s prose rewards attention to its tonal shifts: the same voice that describes an alien’s perfect hair later catalogs gangster tools with deadpan precision. Readers should note how the narrative’s pace changes between office negotiations, museum-like displays, and street-level violence. These shifts are not arbitrary; they reflect Jerry’s own loss of control. The story’s language is its strongest clue to the satire’s target—not just advertising, but the human tendency to mistake polish for substance.